Interim Time: Melancholic

It's very quiet around here in this Seminary, especially during their mid-term break...

I feel a little lonely sometimes with the lack of noise, people and the sights that I would be usually accustomed to when I was serving at the parish of Holy Family. Sometimes it can be rather unnerving to note that I am the only person moving about in the block with no one to care about me making any noise or movement. :-P

Anyway, it is the last days of my stay here in the Seminary and in Singapore, before I fly off to the other part of the world for my studies. Since staying here a while, I have been moving up and down, in and out of the Seminary to run some errands in relation to my preparation for studies. All this is really be a tiring affair.

There have been friends who have been generous to give me some help in alleviating my transport woes in bridging the gap between Ponggol and where I need to go. To them I am utterly grateful. Nonetheless, this whole affair of waiting and doing all this nitty-gritty items can be quite a chore and somewhat 'miserable'.

The thought of leaving family and friends, places and homes so familiar to me and to have to go off to a foreign place is all so frightening... I am still a little numb by all this. The thought of leaving hasn't hit me yet and am sure I would only react accordingly when I am there!

I guess the situation here now is what we would call 'melancholic'. I am getting all kinds of feelings that somewhat overwhelm me with many different flavours: excited, happy, sad, frightened, uncertain, ambivalent, anticipation.... I don't know what to feel anymore! :-P

Saying goodbyes also doesn't help and I have gone through a few leading to this week. Today was one with my aunt and uncle whom I had lunch with this afternoon. I spend some time there with their household members and I was a little sad because there is a strong chance that I may not be able to see my uncle again when I return as he is suffering from an incurable illness. There are also other people from the parish, who are in the same position, that I know and talked to who I may not be able to do so in two years time.

To leave in this state can be quite traumatic, to say the least.

Life carries on. I am not being stoical here, just practicing being a realist. This entry won't be the last one from Singapore before I leave. There will be another and there, I hope to close an era in this virtual log properly before I open a new entry from Rome. Till then, hold them tears first! :-D