*Sigh*

As I am writing this down, I am sitting on my bunk bed with the air-con humming gently in the background, earphones on my ears with k.d. lang's Hymn From the 49th Parallel wafting in and out of my consciousness.

Someone asked me why I am sighing so much...

Today I was feeling rather directionless and a little listless. Perhaps it may be that I couldn't make up my mind whether I should help or ignore, be more assertive or let things be, among other things. For the first, it is the frustration of discerning whether handouts can be given to those who come by the church seeking monetary help. Lately there has been a spate of Malay families coming into our premises desperately seeking some form of handout that they have to be directed to the care of our St Vincent de Paul members. In helping them, word may go around that the parish here is the place to come to for such situations and that we are so-called 'rich' and 'obliging'. This then may invite all sorts of scrupulous oddballs or dubious individuals wanting to seek a fast one in getting money through this system.

The second is about my level of control of those groups and ministries under my direction. I am not sure if my current dealings with them may need further tightening and hand-holding. For any ministry that is called to live out of the Christ principles within the scope of their activities, I don't know if some members are in this only by name. The needed examples that calls forth from them are not so exacting and clear. An area of worry and constantly a burden on my mind is the area of catechesis...

On top of all these, there are also other pastoral matters that demands equal and urgent attention which seem to patch or rectify problem created by others. As if my own isn't enough... *sigh*

Ever had one of those days?...